Buffy remembers the first time she kissed Kon, even though she didn't plan on it mattering much. It's sort of weird when she thinks he used to be just a guy--a nice guy, sure, kind of cute even if he was too young, but mostly unremarkable except for the ego and the bad pickup lines.
The first kiss hadn't even been spectacular. Granted, it had its high points--it had been the first time she really noticed how nice his body was, for example. But she had to admit, probably a lot of it was just her being lonely.
There were other things that had recommended Kon, she thought. Of course, she didn't know how much of it was hindsight, but she doesn't like thinking that she just stumbled into the best relationship of her life.
She also doesn't like thinking of it as the best relationship of her life half the time, but she's hoping she'll get over that.
It wasn't like he had just been some random guy, anyway. They'd talked a lot before that. They'd been, well. Friends. And the fact that he, in addition to being good to talk to about important stuff, could make her actually stop thinking, well. That had been nice. And the other shallow parts, like arms around her waist and a guy being really genuinely into her.
But she doesn't think it could have been anybody. She likes to think she even has a point, instead of being romantic and stupid. Because Kon gets stuff. And Kon got stuff before she ever started dating him. And if he hadn't, she wouldn't have asked him out in the first place. She can think of all sorts of guys who she could kiss, and even enjoy kissing, without starting to date them.
Let alone, of course, getting engaged to them.
She twists the ring on her finger, smiling to herself a little. She had to give it to camp, marriage was something she never considered in the realm of possibility before she got here. And now here she is, excited about the rest of her life.
So she's maybe a little disappointed that he was busy for her dance. She's okay with admitting that. Because getting to spend time with him is just about always the highlight of social events. Not that she didn't have fun with everyone else--she did. She just would have liked to get a chance to dance with him.
She lightly bangs her head against the lab wall. Almost everyone's gone anyway, so it's not like they'll notice. She knows she's positively stupid in love with him. In a sort of worryingly dependent way, because she's pretty sure you're not supposed to want to spend every minute of the day with another person. It seems sort of unhealthy.
Well, she thinks, looking at the ring on her finger again, if you love him so much, why don't you marry him?
She's been thinking that a lot recently, and she's having trouble answering it. She had a ton of good reasons, she thought, but she can't really remember them. She knows she was worried about things like it hurting more to lose him and it being bad, but mostly she can't imagine life without him, and she doesn't want to, and she thinks losing a husband versus losing a boyfriend sort of pales in comparison to losing Kon.
"Shit," she mutters. Why was her entire relationship with Kon based on him asking and her talking herself into it months later?
Oh well. It's not her fault he's such a good kisser.